Beyond the Event: A Youth Ministry Podcast
Bringing together influential voices from the CIY community to walk alongside you in your journey to maintain momentum between the mountaintop experiences of youth ministry.
Beyond the Event: A Youth Ministry Podcast
BTE4.17 Maintaining Work-Life Balance During the Summer with Lane Moss
Mailbag questions or topic suggestions? Text us!
How do we maintain spiritual, emotional, and relational health during our most demanding seasons?
Lane Moss, Director of MOVE at Christ in Youth, opens up about the real challenges of summer ministry life when routines are regularly disrupted by constant travel. Lane draws an important distinction between routines (which often crumble under pressure) and rhythms (which can sustain us regardless of circumstances).
"Bible before phone" becomes more than just a catchy phrase—it represents a portable spiritual anchor that works whether you're at home in your favorite chair or rushing between event venues. Lane shares practical wisdom about how to maintain connection with God when ideal circumstances aren't possible, including setting daily alarms as spiritual check-in points.
The conversation takes a particularly meaningful turn when discussing family relationships during travel-intensive seasons. Lane reveals that maintaining connection with his wife and children requires intentional strategies like brief phone calls during campus walks and personalized touchpoints with each child. Most refreshingly, he admits these approaches didn't emerge naturally but through difficult conversations—sometimes arguments—that ultimately strengthened his family's resilience.
Perhaps most valuable is Lane's perspective on authenticity in ministry leadership. "Nobody is served when we pretend to have it all together," he observes, noting how such pretense creates impossible standards for others while diminishing the visible work of Christ in our lives. This summer, as you navigate your own ministry challenges, may these insights help you maintain rhythms that sustain rather than deplete you.
What rhythms have helped you stay grounded during intense ministry seasons? Share your experiences in the CIY Community Facebook group, and join us when we return with new episodes in August.
I think there might be like spare parts or something in those bags.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's spare bits and bobs Spare bits and bobs. And herbs Spare, herbs Spare herbs.
Speaker 1:My grandpa's name was Herb.
Speaker 2:What Look at us.
Speaker 1:We gotta grow more herbs.
Speaker 2:We gotta grow more herbs. What kind of guy was he? Chiropractor. That actually was a sufficient answer. Normally, just saying what somebody's occupation was to the question what kind of guy was he is not sufficient, but chiropractor actually tells you a lot. It tells you a lot. Oh my goodness, what kind of guy was he Chiropractor?
Speaker 1:actually tells you a lot. It tells you a lot. Oh my heavens.
Speaker 2:And he was like a chiropractor. So, okay, the two different chiropractors that I conjure in my mind immediately are the current chiropractor that I've seen most recently, yeah, who is like this young kind of charismatic. He just kind of strikes you as like a Mormon influencer, you know kind of guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right. And then the other one was a guy in Muskogee and he did all of his chiropractor work wearing jeans, with a tucked in black t-shirt a NASCAR t-shirt. It was a big NASCAR guy. That's her. It was NASCAR pictures all over the world. What was your grandfather closest to NASCAR t-shirt? He was a big NASCAR guy. That's her. There was NASCAR pictures all over the wall. What?
Speaker 1:was your grandfather closest to, I mean the NASCAR. Yeah, not that he was a huge NASCAR guy, but he definitely was more of a mechanical thinker. Yeah, apparently I don't know if this is true, but I don't think my mom is a liar.
Speaker 3:I've never thought of her that way.
Speaker 1:Brad has met my mom two or three times not a liar. Apparently my grandpa invented his own like odometer, before odometers were like put into cars.
Speaker 2:Really to tell him how far he's driven? Yeah, but he like he just never like got a.
Speaker 1:Before odometers were like put into cars Really To tell him how far he's driven, yeah, but he like, he just never like got a like he just didn't have any of the right connections, I guess, or had any, like he didn't try to patent it or anything. So Dang, imagine, how, imagine the money I could have come from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, imagine Michael's generational wealth, the generational wealth of of being the heir to the odometer empire.
Speaker 1:And instead I'm driving around missing a bumper.
Speaker 3:The heir to the odometer empire is crazy because it's just like Tommy boy. Can you imagine Tommy boy?
Speaker 2:but with pike hole yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hi, I'm Brad Warren. This is Beyond the Event, a youth ministry podcast presented by Christ in Youth, where we help you maintain momentum between the mountaintops, and those mountaintops are getting very, very, very, very close. And this is our last episode of this season of the podcast. We're going to talk a little bit about summer and what life looks like when we're doing all kinds of crazy things and running all over the place, and my guest today to talk through that, among other things, is none other than the director of Move, lane Moss Lane.
Speaker 2:Welcome back, brad it is such a delight every time I get to hang out with you and do this. Thanks for having me. That's so kind. Well, I'm in every word of it. That's really nice.
Speaker 1:I'm in every word of it.
Speaker 3:Lane, it's like almost summer. Yeah, we have some crazy stuff going on. Tomorrow is deadline day, so everything has to be done. Michael just gagged. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't gag, but I do have a cough. I think that's the reason why, otherwise, I definitely would have. So if you hear me cough. It's a guarantee almost at this point and I'm not going to try and hide it.
Speaker 3:Event staff get here so soon in a month?
Speaker 2:Yeah, matter of weeks.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I'm pumped, I am too, I am too. Yeah, no, I I text Kelly, uh, a couple of weeks ago, and said I'm sorry, kelly's my wife. I know, yeah, my wonderful, wonderful wife Kelly. She's great, she is absolutely wonderful. And I texted her a couple of weeks ago and just said okay, I'm excited for the summer and I'm always excited for aspects of the summer. Sure, but to get excited to go do it like to, you know, there are long days and they're like weeks away from home and there are all of these other things, and that you know. I don't spend all year ready for that, necessarily, you know. But there, but there comes a time every year when you get there and that hit just a couple of weeks ago and I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, what are the aspects that you're excited for?
Speaker 2:Curious, like that I'm always excited for that.
Speaker 3:I'm recently this summer that you're like, I'm pumped to try this, pumped to do this.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean specifically what I was referring to whenever I texted. Kelly was just like I'm just excited to go travel with the teams and to execute the event that we've been planning in adult leader meetings. We were talking at lunch today. I'm excited about adult leader meetings.
Speaker 3:I love them. I love adult leader meetings. I do too. My favorite time of every move is the 15 minutes after adult leader meeting.
Speaker 2:Yep, I love.
Speaker 3:Every day.
Speaker 2:I love. It's just the best. I'm excited for adult leader meetings. I'm excited for our post session team meetings where we talk about, we celebrate things with one another, pray about things with one another, we pray. We spend that time praying for youth groups that are out in their youth group times and I love praying for youth groups that are out in their youth group times and I love praying about this.
Speaker 2:There's something actually that's really special about praying for people and knowing that in that moment you're coming alongside them in ministry but you're not there and like you're not necessarily seeing it happen, but you know that you are, because what we believe to be true about prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit, you are, you know, you are partnering with them in that ministry. There's something really powerful about that, um. So I love, I love doing that. I love watching students respond and just watching youth pastors and adult leaders hang with their students, when you know, when they don't know, anybody's watching them, you know, and we can just kind of creep on them and look at them just being really good, good friends and good mentors and good leaders. It's just, I just love it. I'm excited about it.
Speaker 3:I'm excited to um get to go to a couple of moves this summer. You're doing a bunch. Uh, where are you going to be here, like where are you going to?
Speaker 2:be. I'm going to be here in Joplin. I'm going to be in Flagstaff. I'm going to be in Ohio. Um, I'm going to be in California. I'm going to be in Florida. I'm going to be in Oregon. I'm going to be in Ireland.
Speaker 3:Uh, can you settle this right now here on this podcast?
Speaker 1:Does.
Speaker 3:California know how to party.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah absolutely.
Speaker 3:Good, glad to know that, Um, I've never gotten to do move in California. Um, I'm an East coast boy, you know, but we are having an open move event in Florida for the first time since a long time ago.
Speaker 3:a long time ago, seven, eight, something like that Nine long years ago. And as a Florida person myself, I am just so pumped about that event Same so pumped to go to a move in Florida and sweat through my clothes Absolutely Before 8.30 am. Oh man, have to drink 19 bottles of water a day in order to stay hydrated. That's right, send out an emergency text. Blast about an alligator on campus, sunshine State. I can't wait. I quite literally cannot wait.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited I'll't wait. I quite literally cannot wait. I'm so excited. I'll never forget, like I mean, those Florida events, loading out at some of those we used to do them in, like you know, panama City Beach and Destin, and loading out into our truck in the afternoon and taking out cardboard boxes of merch and of, you know, cards or prayer cards or whatever we have, and the cardboard boxes literally just disintegrating on the way to the truck because of the humidity, because they're just soaked. It's awesome.
Speaker 3:Florida isn't for everybody, but it is for me.
Speaker 2:Oh, and there's so much momentum behind that event right now. It's going to be great.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the first. Well, we were talking about this at lunch too. Just the amount of growth that Move is seeing right now is kind of insane. And I don't want to sit here and talk about numbers for the sake of numbers, because that's not why we do anything but the fact that we opened up a move event in Florida. So we have five events at Lee university every summer and those events last year were full. Yep, five events. If you wanted to go to Lee university, you could not go, could not. And a lot of churches come up from Florida to go to those Lee events. We're like, okay, sweet, let's put a move event in Florida. Make it a little bit more accessible for those guys. We'll open up some space up at Lee, create some more, uh, some more, some more opportunity for for churches that want to go to Lee. First year sold out, move Florida Sold out. You cannot go right, which is crazy. Yep, and we do have a little bit of space left at tennessee, but those spots have kind of like filled back up. Yep, I don't know it's, it's, it's hard because it's like I want to be excited about the events being full, but also oh yeah, it's, I want to have places for people to go, you know absolutely, and I know
Speaker 2:churches feel that and we're working so hard on that. I and we're working so hard on that. I know we're working so hard on making sure that we continue to open up more and more space for people to come in. You know, if, if, uh, if a church of a youth leader, you know, and if parents, if they deem fit to allow us to, to partner with them in ministry and to entrust that part of their ministry to us, then we want to make sure that there's that there's room for everybody to be able to do that, and so, yeah, we're working hard on it.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay. So every summer, um, I, I, I want to ask you this too, michael every summer we travel a lot during the summers, yep, and a little bit later in this conversation we're going to talk about like work-life balance during the summer. That's something that's hard for us, it's hard for youth pastors, it's hard for everybody, and we're going to talk about how to how to kind of navigate that. But during the summer, there are always a couple of weeks sprinkled in there that we have off. Right. You might travel a couple of weeks, make another stop, and then you get to come home for five days and then you hit the road again. What is your favorite thing to do during your time at home, during your breaks at home?
Speaker 2:During the summer specifically.
Speaker 3:Yeah, during the summer.
Speaker 2:Man, that's a good question. Honestly, the thing that came to my head first is Sleep. No, actually Is actually to go to the pool with my family, like we like, because my family spends a lot of time there whenever I'm on the road anyway. But that's just like I, you know phones off or, uh, you know on silent and it's put away. My watch is probably on because there are events happening, but other than that, than that, um, it's just play and it's relax and it's sun and it's all those things, and so that's that's the thing that comes to my head first. You know we have a lot of great, you know a lot of fun, fourth of july traditions and stuff, too, that we try to do in the summer, but, um, do you take that?
Speaker 3:do you have that week off? Fourth of july yeah, yeah, um, I was thinking you know we were talking about growth and like how we're trying super hard to make sure that people have a place to go. Part of that has meant like adding events like our Florida event and I haven't really counted but like we have some weird weeks this year where it's like okay, the only way we could really make this work is to do an event that starts on a Saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, this is the.
Speaker 3:Florida event starts on a Saturday, ends on a Wednesday and I know we've got like a California event that we kind of shoehorned into a to a tight spot and it's like for you there. I wonder how many actual calendar days there are where we don't have any of it happening.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 3:I wonder if there are any. Uh, there might be a couple early earlier in the summer yeah, a couple earlier in the weekend days probably I don't know.
Speaker 2:I actually haven't checked. That's a good question. It's kind of wild.
Speaker 3:Michael, what's your favorite thing to do on a week off?
Speaker 1:well, let me cough feel better it's no gesundheit you.
Speaker 3:We are in the throes of allergy season.
Speaker 1:This is not allergies. Oh no, I was like today's Wednesday. Last Thursday my throat was sore. I was like I'm coming down with something. Friday pretty bad day.
Speaker 2:Tough.
Speaker 1:And it's just been a slow uphill climb since then. What's in your cup there, michael? Not hot chocolate, oh, bummer, it is a honey, citrus mint tea.
Speaker 2:Oh that is a great tea, otherwise known as the medicine ball. Medicine ball yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1:This is my second one today it's probably like my seventh in the last two days.
Speaker 3:Yeah, mike Brant was on the podcast a couple weeks ago. Love Mike, what a weeks ago.
Speaker 1:Love my and uh, what a guy. I found out I didn't know this that he doesn't like coffee yeah right, he likes lukewarm hot chocolate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's from the desert, the day I don't care um, the day that's the lukewarm part, the day, the day that it feels weird to call like lukewarm hot chocolate yeah, I mean that, is it just like liquid chocolate at that point? I don't know, but like people talk about frozen hot chocolate as like a flavor of things now, yeah, well, but it is.
Speaker 1:But frozen hot chocolate ice cream is different than just chocolate ice cream.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 3:Because it was once hot. I don't know what the inner workings are.
Speaker 1:I just know that. I've tasted it. Yeah, and it's different. It seems like a scheme.
Speaker 2:It's different. It seems like a scheme. It's got like it's got. This is going to be weird, but it's like. I mean it's almost got like the. You know there's something like vanilla creamer or something like that, almost in with the hot, in with the chocolate. That softens the bitterness of the chocolate a little bit. You know, okay, Okay, but I agree with you that frozen hot chocolate or lukewarm hot chocolate is a funny, I mean it's a weird name. It's just chocolate, it's just chocolate water.
Speaker 3:The day that Mike's episode came out, he texted a picture to me and Caleb and Paykel and he was drinking a lukewarm chocolate. Yeah, so anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, how we rolls man.
Speaker 3:Favorite thing to do during a week off during the summer.
Speaker 1:I think it just kind of depends. A week off, unfortunately, is not always truly a week off because, right, we a lot of times we'll have things going on at the warehouse, um, uh, which is just the worst place to be during the summer. It's the worst, um, because the only sort of like climate um control that we have in there is um big fans big this podcast is brought to you by.
Speaker 1:It's not brought to you by, but no, but to say two-thirds of the name um, uh, and they help, but they're. You know it doesn't solve the problem. I don't enjoy whenever there's stuff to do in the warehouse, uh, when I'm in town, but it's never like full days.
Speaker 3:There's never like too much to do, but sometimes that stuff happens yeah, um, it just always depends.
Speaker 1:If there's like an event staff team that's in town that has a few people that I have like sort of developed a relationship with over the like over the years, they've come back, I like to try and hang out with them, um, or if I'm behind on like video games, I might try and catch up on video games.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, it just always depends. It's never exactly the same.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Lauren, do you have a favorite thing to do on a break?
Speaker 3:Lauren's off mic oh, debut Debut Swim in the pool. Swim in the pool. That's the first time Lauren's voice has ever been heard on this podcast.
Speaker 1:She's a real person cool absolutely I'll make it sound as good as I can she, she likes to swim in the pool.
Speaker 3:That's incredible, yes. Well, here's to many days for all of you and your, your what do you do?
Speaker 2:what do you do? What do you do on a break in the summer? Brad?
Speaker 3:It's a great question. I love something Michael and I have in common we love going to the movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And summer is a great movie time, and so usually I will try to catch one or two movies during a week off, a day, no, but like on a hot summer day going to a magnet going to like a two o'clock showing of a movie. Yeah, Just rocks. Yeah, I don't know what it is about that, but like.
Speaker 2:Coke Icy and Mission Impossible yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, all day, all day. I actually saw the new Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One Okay.
Speaker 1:At a week of move, part one okay at oh, we could move, yeah, which is now just dead reckoning right, yeah, not part one, but there is a part two. But it's not part two, right, it's a final record, final, final reckoning just because?
Speaker 2:because death wasn't final right tom cruces.
Speaker 1:Yeah, happy easter everybody. Yeah, right weeks late.
Speaker 3:That's right, um, but anyway I saw that in in cleveland, tenn, tennessee, with Jeremy Stevenson and it was a nice little date that we had. It was great. It's beautiful. Anyway, usually I like to catch a movie. I do rest a lot, I do kind of sleep a lot. I also love working in my yard, so in the mornings and the evenings when it's a little cool, I'll get outside, burn some sticks. Yeah, prune a bush Nice. Harvest some vegetables. Cilantro Well, cilantro is a cool season vegetable.
Speaker 3:So by then it's pretty much spent Gotcha. But basil maybe. Now we're talking yeah, maybe a tomato, ah, just one. So yeah, that's what I like to do. Great, okay, let's do mailbag real quick and then we'll get into this conversation. That's super important about how to be a functioning human being in all aspects of your life during this number.
Speaker 1:Great, uh, okay, we have two questions from michelle cruz that we will ask in sequence before getting to uh another, another question she's back, dear friend matt berry, she's so back she is so back.
Speaker 3:Michelle was a consistent question, asker, and I don't know if there were any on the last on the podcast. But yeah, it's been a while since we've had a michelle cruz question. I'm excited it's michelle, michelle, welcome back um a.
Speaker 1:Michelle Cruz question. I'm excited it's Michelle's season. Michelle, welcome back. Okay, she says I think it was Lane who used to wear those shoes that looked like toe socks. I want to know more about that the Volta Period?
Speaker 3:Not even really a question, she just wants to know, more about that.
Speaker 2:It's a demand. Vibrams I did wear Vibrams. I did wear Vibrams for a while. They did not smell good. It's a flaw of the Vibram.
Speaker 3:They have individual. They're socks.
Speaker 2:With like yeah, with rubber bottoms, okay, vibram a lot of people.
Speaker 3:Did you ever wear Vibrams on stage at Move?
Speaker 2:I actually don't know. There's a good chance. People seerams on stage at Move. I actually don't know there's a good chance.
Speaker 3:People see your toes on stage at Move.
Speaker 1:I was going to go back up to the warehouse and ask if we could write a policy about it.
Speaker 3:It's like I have to wear jeans on stage but you're allowed to wear creepy toe shoes.
Speaker 2:If I did, it was early on in my time at CY, Because I started wearing them in Tulsa. I was running in red, born to run and we will go into all that and this guy I mean, and I was sold and they were great, but yeah, they didn't smell great.
Speaker 3:What's the perk Like? What's the advantage? I don't understand the idea is you should.
Speaker 2:just the idea is that, like you're, I should read Born to Run. Yeah, the idea is that, like, what is that?
Speaker 3:That's a Bruce Springsteen album. I don't know like what you're talking about, can you?
Speaker 2:let him answer the question. I'm sorry, it's quite all right it? Hey, brad, can you let him answer the question? I'm sorry, it's quite all right. It's that, like your feet are a marvel of engineering and modern shoes have actually like reduced their capacity to do what they were designed to do, and so, like most world records were set barefoot in terms of, like running and distance and speed and things like that. And so there was like a big thing for a while where it was just like hey, free the feet, let them. You know that. And so there was like a big thing for a while where it's just like hey, free the feet, uh, let them you know, not all the way.
Speaker 1:So I just have a question about those world records that were set barefoot I can't probably answer those, but you can try do any of them still stand no idea I feel like they don't probably not well, they were all set before shoes were ever invented.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, they're called.
Speaker 3:I'm on their website right now. They're're called Vibram five finger shoes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right. So they've always been called. Are they for monkeys they?
Speaker 3:are over $100. Yeah, this pair is $150. Yeah, and they have individual toes.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 3:I just why do your toes need to be separated?
Speaker 2:Well, modern shoes, like they squeeze your toes together in a way that's unnatural. Your, your feet, don't do this without shoes, okay, but they do with. So like they're designed, like your feet are designed to be like this ingrown toenails. You got it inter vibrams I'm just kidding um uh, no, I'm obviously not.
Speaker 2:Uh, I'm not sold on them anymore. There was a season, there was a couple of season, there was a couple of years, there was a time, there was a couple of years, where I did wear those Misha's right. Thank you for bringing that to the attention of the podcast. Okay, yeah, so there you go. So that's, that's what it was, you know. And uh, do you still have them? No, no, gosh, no, not.
Speaker 1:Okay, certainly not uh, so she, she also is asking uh, what was the catalyzing incident for you?
Speaker 3:throwing them away? There's no telling marriage I didn't know I was already married.
Speaker 2:Ellie had some too for a second, although she never really wore them, but I like bought them for her. I was like you should do this. Um, I got in like my hyper evangelism phase for a while no, no, she did not, um, but she probably read an article that I sent her. Yeah, um, and then, uh, big reader kelly, actually she is, but yeah, but um, but then yeah, so I don't know. They're gone now for a long time, I mean, it's been 15 years, 12 years uh.
Speaker 1:So michelle also is saying about you, lane. He has also said I'm painting you with the quiet brush on a move stage. When I was in high school it was so weird that it worked the question is does he have more of? Those, or did he come up with the quiet brush?
Speaker 2:himself. I remember exactly when I did I mean that was. I was a vent staff, you were wearing Vibrams.
Speaker 3:I was wearing.
Speaker 2:No, they hadn't even been invented yet. I mean, made shoes. Um, we were on uh, so I can't remember if that one was. That was in Colorado, I think Um, and and the crowd was a little unruly, the children were restless, and so I said we had talked about it beforehand. I don't know why Levi Greer and my little brother Tyler, and there was a few of us that were a part of that and we'd been talking about whether or not to try to use the quiet brush on stage. And yeah, I did. I just said I went like this and I said I'm painting you with the quiet brush. Everybody was like so shocked that they just kind of shut up it worked, I think, is what happened?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it did, it did and Levi tried it and it did not work.
Speaker 3:They revolted. That's because nothing Levi says is to be taken seriously.
Speaker 2:They revolted it was amazing. That's because nothing Levi says is to be taken seriously. They revolted, it was amazing, that's funny.
Speaker 1:I don't know if Michelle is asking if you have any more of those kinds of tricks. Or if she's asking do you have more of the quiet brushes Like do?
Speaker 2:you have any more of the five pack or something? Yeah, no, I don't. I don't know if I have any more of those other than just like the. You know, shh shh shh, shh, shh, shh shh shh shh, shh, shh shh shh shh shh shh, shh shh shh, shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh, shh shh shh, shh, shh shh, shh, shh shh, and it's because your eyes click open and your mouth clicks shut, and so she'd go eyeball and everybody go click and they would just, it would just go silent. It was amazing. I might try that this summer. Interesting, coming to a move stage near you.
Speaker 1:Eyeball click Okay. We have a question from Matt Berry.
Speaker 2:The actor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the actor.
Speaker 1:Big time favorite of ours, Matt, is asking how do you find the balance between pushing a student who's called into ministry too hard versus not hard enough Boy?
Speaker 3:I wasn't ready for that.
Speaker 1:The number of times that I've looked at that question, I've gone. That would be a great question.
Speaker 2:Probably not today, but Lane today, today's the day I feel so lucky and honored, that's actually I mean mean it really is a great question.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, because you don't like manipulate people no no, no, no, and and and to some degree also, I think you trust you know, like, if a student is called into ministry and you, you know, if you know you see, there, I think you can also, I think you can trust that they can also hear and discern the Holy Spirit's leading and like the voice of the Lord. And so I think you have to, you have to water that and opportunities for that discernment to take place. But I do think that there is some truth to it. I mean, if you just like, if you just push and push and just say no, I think everything else is a bad idea and this is what you need to do, then I mean, that's a. Those are the kind, that's the kind of soil that resentment can grow in. You know, not not fruitful ministry. And so I do think, I think my encouragement would be to just spend regular time with that student and just say, hey, are you open to this conversation? I'm not going to push, but are you open to exploring it a little bit together? Or are you at least open to praying for what's next for you, praying about what's next for you, and then spend some time doing that?
Speaker 2:As a youth pastor, I would say too that you have to. That's gotta be a two-way street. You've got to approach that with, like, an open heart and open hands as well, because you might find too that, oh no, the Lord has something different for them and ministry in a different form. It may not be vocational, it may be something else, and you may be discerning incorrectly, you know, and so you just need to. Maybe your encouragement for ministry in their life might need to look a little bit different than the way that crying does for you.
Speaker 2:But I would say, and just like, don't be afraid to approach those times with prayer and listening together and you know, and those kinds of things, and you might be surprised what the Lord does in their heart. You might be surprised what the Lord does in their heart. You might be surprised what the Lord does in your heart, um, but if you're listening well and and and obeying well, then you won't be disappointed by, um, the results. I can guarantee that there's no reason for fear. There's no reason for fear for making the wrong decision. If you're just trying to take the next right step, you know the next step into it and you know. However, whatever is, whatever part of the path is lit before you at that time by the word of God. Um then, as long as you're taking that step, then you had nothing to worry about, you know so it's a, it's a great question.
Speaker 3:It is. It's a good question. It's a hard question because I know like youth pastors are often like the first people to see that in somebody you know and it's like first people to see that in somebody you know and it's like how do I, you know, how do I push?
Speaker 2:but not be pushy, and it's certainly a lot a part of a lot of people's stories that they've had a, they've had a leader, a youth pastor or a small group leader or somebody kind of shoulder tap them and just say, hey, I see this in you and I think this is something that maybe God has, like, gifted you for and is leading you towards, and I think that's totally in bounds is to do that. But then if they say, no, I think it's this, and after, like again, after this, you know some prayer and prayerfully considering all that, then I think you go okay, great, well, those things that I see in you are still there, they're still true. So now, so how do we marry these two things? Like, what does it look like to be to lead in the way that I see that you're capable and gifted in and to do those kinds of things, but to do that in whatever it is that God has called you to?
Speaker 2:I think that those you know, those two things can, can exist together and can actually exist really beautifully together, and so then it's a matter of figuring out what that looks like. You know. So, and and here's, and yeah, you don't want to manipulate, you don't want to manipulate you, don't want to do that, but I mean, we're going to do that at move too. I mean there's obviously nothing wrong with like saying the Lord has called some of you to do this. Let's boldly step into it. It might make you a little nervous, it might make you a little bit, you know whatever, but we're going to. I mean yeah we're doing that.
Speaker 3:Big opportunities play in this too.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 3:And I would agree with him. You know, obviously I think you would too. But, like, sometimes it doesn't start with a conversation about ministry. Sometimes it starts with a conversation about well, it is a conversation about ministry. It doesn't start with a conversation about vocational ministry. It starts with a conversation about um, hey, I think you'd be good at this. You want to come try?
Speaker 2:Do it yeah.
Speaker 3:You want to. You want to hop on stage and lead this moment. You want to, uh, lead a middle school small group. You want to. You know, whatever that may be, just to kind of like put them in a position where God could have an easier time, um, breaking through some of the the noise of life and getting ahold of those students. Um, but yeah, it's, it's a hard thing.
Speaker 2:The danger is that you're going to push so hard that you're going to have what I assume is some kind of a leader in your youth group, right, or at least has potential for leadership, is why you're seeing this Leadership at some capacity. You know, maybe not out front leadership, but maybe it's behind the scenes, whatever. It is not out front leadership, but maybe it's behind the scenes, whatever. Whatever it is the. The fear is, you know, the danger is that you're going to push that person so hard that you're going to have a really, a really great person graduate your youth group, feeling like you're disappointed in them and that's. And man, oh Lord, like we don't want that, you know, like we don't want somebody to leave to, to leave the youth group to grab what you know, to graduate or whatever else, and to go on to whatever's next in their life, feeling like they let down the youth leader or whatever else. Yeah, that would be a total bummer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it would be Okay. Is that it? Yep? Is that a wrap on season four Mailbag? I believe it is Okay. Great questions, Great Yep. Is that a wrap on season?
Speaker 1:four Mailbag. I believe it is Okay. Great questions, Great questions.
Speaker 3:Thank you, michelle, for enlightening us about the life of Pass Lane, and thank you to Matt for just a treasure trove of questions that he asked all season long A true wellspring?
Speaker 1:Yeah, truly so.
Speaker 3:This is normally the point in our podcast when I would say, okay, let's go have a conversation with so-and-so, but it's just Lane. We're having a conversation with Lane.
Speaker 1:So we're going to jump right into this.
Speaker 3:Don't? No, no, we're very excited. We're all happy about this. All right, here's the premise. You, a few minutes ago, you rattled off all the different places you're going to be this summer. Yep, you start your summer here in Joplin at Missouri. One Get to sleep in your own bed. That's nice. Still working hard, though. In the months of June and July you know, 61 days you'll probably be on the road, I don't know between 40 and 50 of those days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something like that, I'm guessing.
Speaker 3:Not going to do the math right here as we speak. So I want to know how you stay connected to Jesus when you're out of your routine, because I know that you're a man of discipline and it's like I have things that I do. What? No, are you nodding?
Speaker 2:no, right now About being a man of discipline. Yeah, oh man, I don't know. Yeah, you are, stop Shut up.
Speaker 3:Okay, but it's like, okay, I have a routine, and when I break out of the routine, how do I continue to to do that? I want to know how you stay emotionally healthy. I want to know how you stay married. I want to know how you continue to be a good dad? Um, cause it's hard and and youth pastors are in the same position, right, if you, um, I mentioned Jeremy Stevenson's name earlier.
Speaker 3:That man is leading a mission trip to Spain. Yeah, he's going to mix, yep, he's going to move with his church. He's directing a week of move and directing two weeks of move. You know, and it's like youth pastors, your summer calendar also is slammed and also is out of the ordinary and, um, so we see you and we feel that too, and I think the lane, you're just a really good guy to kind of um speak into this a little bit. So why don't we start here? This might be a bad place to start, but I think it might be a good place to start. Just what? What? I feel like you like routine in some sense. What value does routine play in your, like, normal life, your baseline?
Speaker 1:Oh, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, let's just kind of start there.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, let's just kind of start there. Um, it's well, it is. I do like routine, um, I'm, I'm a, I'm a seven, uh, on the Enneagram, for what? For what it's worth, and so, like I'm, I'm motivated by fun. So most of most of what I do is just trying to get from wherever I am to wherever. It looks like is going to be a good time.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, you got it.
Speaker 2:And so, uh, and so I so like. So routine has not always been something that I like naturally gravitate towards, neither is discipline, um, for that matter, and so that's. That's something that I've learned a lot about from good people in my life, and my wife is very, you know, disciplined and um, so I've learned a lot from her in that way, and just from you know, just, uh, and so I've, I've, I've grown there, but I'm still, yeah, I still kind of like have to. It's a battle that I got to fight, but I have the one of the reasons, one of the thing that makes the battle so worth it, um, is because I it is undeniably better when I'm, when I am able to find some rhythm, yeah, which I think is probably a more appropriate word for what I, for me, than even routine is a little bit Routine factors into that. But rhythm is, is more important, and the reason is because life is so different in so many different seasons, yeah, so it's different over Christmas time than it is over, you know, january and February, and it's different in January and February than it is in April and May, and it's way different in July than it is in any of those times, sure, and so routine gets thrown off quick, yeah, um, and. But you can still, even when your routine is shattered or very different, you can still prioritize rhythm and, and that has been, um, you know, you can still prioritize, okay. Well, what does it look like for me to seek Jesus first in the morning before I do other things? The rhythm or the routine might not always be the same, but those are the rhythms that can still be, still be helpful. What does it look like to have rhythms where I'm trying to recenter myself in the beginning, middle and end of the day? The routines can vary. The rhythm stays To stay as physically healthy as I can. Routines can vary.
Speaker 2:Rhythms are important, the rhythm routines can vary. Rhythms, um, rhythms are. Rhythms are important and they're, you know, the rhythm is what's consistent. So, um, hugely important and has become, and has become, more important, Um, just as um, I think, just the. I don't know if it's become more important, but I've realized more of the importance of it the older that I get, um, and the more that I realized how connected physical health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, all of those things are just like, so are so connected for me that it's it's huge If I want to love people by giving them my best, which is what I, which is what I want to do, people that my life, churches, you know, and friends and family and everything I want to one of the ways that I love them probably the primary way that I love them is by giving them my best. If I want to do that, then I have to be, I have to be healthy, and so rhythm is important for me.
Speaker 3:So there's an elephant in the room for me that I just want to kind of like say Sure, and I think it'll be helpful to people who are listening. This conversation is heavily influenced by a man named Justin Whitmore, early Absolutely, who has written just two or three A couple.
Speaker 2:Books Three and four. So he's got the habits of the household.
Speaker 3:Common rule Common rule is the big one for me.
Speaker 1:Made for people.
Speaker 3:Made for people.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 3:So I think it I don't remember if it's even him, but I think that it is who talks about ruts? Yeah, yeah, he does mention that. Yeah, no-transcript, and it's hard, hard to get out of it. Uh, on purpose. Um, so he talks a little bit about, like, how do we create ruts in our own, our own spiritual life? That, um, no matter what the circumstance is like you're talking about, is it Christmas time? Am I on the road during the summer? Is it a normal, uh, wednesday where I'm going to be at work from eight to five? Um, no, it doesn't matter, because I have this rut, uh, that that I'm kind of staying in. What are some of those for you, ruts, yeah.
Speaker 3:Or just like you use the word Rhythms.
Speaker 2:Rhythm yeah.
Speaker 3:Pick your poison, I don't care.
Speaker 2:So Bible before phone, I can do really any all year long. There's really not a, there's not a season, um. Where that is, where that is unattainable, you know, is is is scripture before phone, um and so, and that's just huge.
Speaker 3:It's amazing, um, you know, uh it's, and this is just to elaborate on that just a tiny bit. I wake up in the morning before I look at my phone I'm I'm in the word.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Now you're, there's a good chance you're turning your alarm off on your phone or you know something like that. But before, like, but let's be honest, let's like, let's call it what it is. It's before social media, you know, or or something like that. You know, or, uh, or I don't know, mind sweeper, maybe you're a big mind sweeper guy, so it'd be before that. Sure, I'm not. Yeah, Well, you never know.
Speaker 3:I'm a big crossword guy, I'm a hundred Do I do the New York times crossword every day. I do Good for you, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, um, and, and I, and I just think that, like I, I just don't know that there's, I literally don't know if there's any one that is, that is as important as that. Okay, just in terms of say, I mean, if, if you're, you know, attached to just scrolling, you are, you are scientifically more anxious, you are more like you're, you know what I mean, you're more all of these things, and so it's just, if we want to be less of that, then there is a very simple thing that you can do to be less of that. It's not that it's not a, it's not a silver bullet, but it is a but it is a less of that thing in more, you know, focused on word of God, truth of God. Come to me all you who are weary, and I'll give you rest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's start there, you know, and then, um, so, so then it is, it's, it's it's getting up in the morning and schedule my coffee. Wake up, um, and get my coffee, go out and sit in my chair in my, in my um living room and fight like all heck to not think about all the things that are going to be happening that day and instead try to, um, instead spend some time in the word and in prayer so even let's kind of start here.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt you're right, even just then, you painted a picture of yourself in your living room, right, which is where you wake up most mornings, um, in your own bed, going to the living room, making coffee, sitting in your chair, right, you know, and reading the word of god, yep, um, and as much as we would want to say that we try to, like, make those things, um, consistent, regardless of of what the setting is, for me that and I don't have the same routine as you, but for me that would be a difficult thing to superimpose onto a week of move, oh, big time, yeah, sure. So what does that? You know what does that look like?
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, so it can always so it can always be the exact same. I don't always have the slow mornings, it can't always, so it can't always be the exact same. I don't always have the slow mornings that I might be able to have, and so there's a way, I mean I can set my alarm with enough time to give myself a slow morning, but the nights are much later as well, so sleep just in that, and across a several week long summer that becomes harder.
Speaker 3:So it's harder the third week of July than it is the second week of June. You got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so for me it's still important. So I still try to do that. But even if you can't have the slow morning that you think you can have, you can still have Bible before phone. That can still be one of those things. That is, you know, even if it's relatively brief, or you know you can, that is still attainable.
Speaker 3:You know, um and and maybe it's even if it's just like reading Psalm 23, while you're laying in bed before you get up for the day you know earbuds listening to scripture while you're walking across campus.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean To that kind of. I mean that kind of thing is is uh, is huge as well. So, yeah, I mean it's still, it's still there. Um, you know, you can, you can still, you can still accomplish it.
Speaker 3:So here's another thing. Um, I'm here's just the way my brain works is. I'm hearing you, kind of like, talk about your life, and I'm thinking how I would respond if I was you in certain situations. You know what I mean, and I feel like if this was a rule that I wanted to put in place in my life um, which it is I would love to do that. I don't um that I would be really hard on myself yeah if that, it would become like a legalistic thing totally a little bit.
Speaker 3:You know that it's like, okay, I have this practice that I and I kind of like it's really important in my relationship with god that I do this, and then all of a sudden, it's been three days and I haven't yep, and now I'm thinking like, oh gosh, another, another thing that I've dropped the ball on. You know what I mean? Um, help me with that.
Speaker 2:Two things first of all, again, this is justin. Is Justin, anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. So it's like, yeah, drop the ball. Three, three out of seven days is so much better than none out of seven days. Right, you know what I mean. So that's great, like, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:So, celebrate that, like, try to like live in that kind of celebration and in that kind of awareness of this was good for me, I think, even the three days I did this, they were healthy. But then also, I have to remind myself too, I'm not doing this to like so that I have any kind of favor with God throughout the day. Right, I'm not doing this to, I'm doing this because it's genuinely, because it's God's invitation to me, yeah, to try to center my morning around him. It's an anchor, it's an anchor and it's, and it truly is an invitation, um to a, to a better way, um, of living, I think, to like a um to a better way to go about my day anyway, and so, um, and so, yeah, so, thinking of it that way, you know, instead of thinking of it as like these are. You know, I'm doing this things because it is.
Speaker 2:It gets easy to beat yourself up or whatever, but anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, and so celebrate the wins. But you always, you know, the losses always hurt more than the wins. Feel good, I think, oftentimes. And so it's hard to like recenter, yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:But which is just purely like an ego achievement. Sure Thing, sure.
Speaker 2:But, but got to work through that, I guess too, so sure, um, okay, I kind of interrupted you. Uh, routines and um, depending on, you know, uh, everything else, but, um, I I have, uh, I have an alarm that goes off in the middle of my day as well, because it's what's easy for me is to forget that. You know, dallas Willard calls it the with God life, which is just like that. Like you know, um brother Lawrence, talks about the presence of God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right, yeah, and so, and so it's. It's easy for me to forget that I have a foot in two places. You know, it's not about. It's not about being in a monastery by yourself, or like being out by some, like babbling brook, and I'm sitting there in solitude, in a silence, or you know. You know, solitude, retreat or something like that, those are that's, that's cool. If you can, you know, manage to do that kind of thing, it's great. But that's not what most, most life is. But that doesn't mean that you still can't be as intimately connected to the father as you are during those times, while I'm, while I'm backstage, talking to our backstage manager, you know, and getting you know about what's going to go on the teleprompter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for Brother Lawrence, it was peeling potatoes. That's exactly. Yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 2:And so and so there's. So I, so what I've tried to do, is try to find things in my life that I can do that keep me to live in that awareness. And so, um, one of so, one of those things. I have an alarm that goes off at 1135 every day. Um, that just is a, that is just that reminder, and it actually just says kneel, because I would like to kneel in prayer during that time.
Speaker 2:But again, that's not like a legalistic thing and there are obviously times when that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do that in the middle of Target or whatever else, but I am going to try to stop what I'm doing and take a posture that is even subtle and is even for 15 or 20 seconds, but whatever it does just like re-posturing myself, physically even, is just like a reorienting of okay, maybe even like the first part of my day is finished now, and now I'm going to think about, like the next part of my day in terms of not like planning out my schedule or whatever else, but in terms of, okay, maybe I can't keep 24 hours, I can't remember that I'm, you know, living in two places for 24 hours, but maybe I can for for four at a time, you know, um.
Speaker 2:So that's another routine. That alarm goes off every day, and so every day, at 1135, I spent a little bit of time in prayer, make, trying to make again like recognize God's presence, um, and, and, and then just telling him like, lord, I want to give the this part of my day to you, and and doing that, so that's been. That's really helpful too yeah, um.
Speaker 3:So there's like an ideal I feel like, and and this might be at the root of like why this is difficult for, for this type of thing is difficult for me, and maybe why the word um rhythm is a much better word than the word routine, um is because, like we I think we all have like an ideal. Like you talked about being by a creek and having time to pray, and in a sense, you're speaking my language, I'm probably not by the creek, I'm in the creek with a fly rod in my hand.
Speaker 3:You know, and and that's my space you know what I mean, but even if you know, like we, we've all seen um and and some of us have done this not definitely not me, not me, uh, for sure, I've never done this, but like had the Instagram Bible study, you know. I definitely have done this, sure, uh and where it's like oh look, my bible and a cup of coffee and the sun coming up over the horizon.
Speaker 3:You know wonderful experience it's a great experience and um, but like, then we get that ideal in our mind and then anything that doesn't meet that becomes like less valuable for some reason. You know, in terms of like, helping to maintain our relationship with God is like man.
Speaker 3:I really wanted to set my alarm 30 minutes early every day so that I could get up, get dressed, brush my teeth, have breakfast and then have 30 minutes where I can just sit and be in God's word minutes where I can just sit and be in God's word, but then like it becomes anything less than that, um, where it's like maybe I am rushing to get up and get dressed and then I have to put on the you version app in my car and listen to a Psalm while I'm driving into work, or whatever feels like, um, yeah, just just like a less valuable experience.
Speaker 3:And um the I really like the rhythm thing because it says no, actually not true, you know? Um you're still in a place where you're centering yourself on God's will. Um, at this time of the day, or whatever it may be.
Speaker 2:And I and I think in, yeah, mountains and valleys, man, you know what I mean Like, the mountaintop is in those kind of opportunities, when you get, you know, when you have the Instagram Bible study, you know moment or whatever, they're phenomenal and like, ask the Holy Spirit to call those things to your mind while you're sitting there, not so that you can experience them, but so that you can thank God for them and know that it's the same God. You know who, who, who, actually, who is. It's even harder to even fathom, like, oh, you're with me here, like you're in my living room, you're in my, the same way that you are, you know, in the stream, or the mountains or the you know whatever else. So, yeah, it's more mundane, you know, um, but in that way, maybe more sweet.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, okay, um, I I'm going to switch gears, yeah, unless you got something else. No, go for it. Okay, um, relationships, okay, community, I'm most listeners. The podcast none of those. Not married, don't have children. Uh, listeners of the podcast know this not married, don't have children. Uh, you are married. You do have three children.
Speaker 2:You still have three. I still still.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, I didn't know if, knox you know, you just never know. Uh, so anyway, um, during the summer, well, like community is kind of hard for me anyway, you what I mean. But the first several years that I lived here, it felt like I was just like hitting a hard reset button every summer, like I would kind of have friendships and whatever and it was great throughout the year, and then summer would hit and I would come back from summer and feel pretty isolated, you know um, because there was no like habit or routine of of being in community with those people for such a long um stretch of time. Um, and and obviously you have, you know, very important relationships to you, kelly and canon ledger knocks that it's like very important to to keep those things going um during the summer. And and I'm curious what that looks like for your family yeah.
Speaker 2:So obviously, family and friends as a different conversations, you know, um, how you do that kind of community, but so for specifically for my family, um, for my uh, one of the things that we kind of learned early is that is that um and and I and I, and sure I think this is also going to be different for everybody. In fact, I know people, you know that we have, you know people at CY who the way that they approach this with their family is very different. Not one not better than the other, necessarily. What we have found to be, to be helpful for our family is Kelly and I, you know, we we ended up having.
Speaker 2:One of the things that used to frustrate us is that sometimes in the summer, in the summer where I'm, you know, very busy days, all these kinds of things, and so we used to say like we don't really have time to connect, or we don't have time to talk, or we don't have time to, and actually that's not true. What, and actually that's not true? What we don't always have time for is like significant, meaningful conversations. Right, sometimes we have time for it. A lot of times we don't in in in the summer, but we always, and so it was kind of like we almost. There was a time when we almost took an all or nothing approach. It was like we don't have that, so then we don't have anything kind of it's the same idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right it's like whatever the Instagram Bible study version of a conversation with your wife is Totally yeah, if I can't do that, then why do anything?
Speaker 2:Right, you know. And so one of the things that's, I think, been the healthiest for us over the last few summers is actually just like is again I mentioned earlier but like I've got I know this walk is going to take six or seven minutes while I'm walking across campus, maybe a little more. So I'm just going to call Kel and just like chat with her for a little bit and that makes, honestly, what's important for my wife and for her love language is to feel like she's a part of the things that I do and for me to be a part of the things that she's doing. You know, whether you know she's that's you know with her job, or she's at home with the boys or whatever it is, but for us to not feel like we're doing those things totally separate from one another, even though that is kind of the reality, but however we bring each other into and again that is the mundane so like be just like Colin Kelly, while I'm walking across you know when I'm, while I'm walking across campus, and just kind of telling her about you know, telling her about what I had for breakfast and like what you know, what I'm excited about for the day or whatever you know and hearing about how you know their morning went at home or their you know what, or you know whatever it is.
Speaker 2:So it's it's being okay with like little things that that are seemingly less significant, um, but are actually massive in terms of like how we stay healthy together. And then every time, every chance I get, I also FaceTime, um, you know, with the boys and, um, you know, chow some a little bit, and then we have, like you know, running jokes and running things we do every time I'm at a, you know try to explore new coffee shops wherever I'm at, and you know that's, you know, connect with Knox that way. He's a big coffee guy and so I send him this one here's where I am and then he'll look it up and talk to me about all that kind of stuff and everything and talk to, you know, ledge about his job and my job and how you know.
Speaker 3:So, anyway, you just kind of how working at Chick-fil-A is basically.
Speaker 2:Working at CLI.
Speaker 3:Working at CLI.
Speaker 2:Kingdom work, kingdom work baby. Kingdom work, kingdom work baby and work baby. So yeah, so again, it's routines, you know, and if I know, like keeping an eye on that, keeping an eye on the uh or it's, it's rhythms, I should say keeping an eye on the time difference and knowing that, um, you know, I'm like it's gonna be bedtime for them long before it is for me.
Speaker 3:Right, and just trying to at least acknowledge that that's true if you're in the same time. So it's true. Yeah, at least acknowledge that in a's true If you're in the same time zone, it's true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, at least acknowledge that in a text. You know, even if I can't, you know, call and tell everybody good night that night and everything else, maybe I just like send a quick video to them or maybe I at least am able to text them and just say you know, love you guys, and you know, love you and miss you.
Speaker 3:And can't wait to that. I I'm 99% sure I know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask it as a question anyway. Um, is that something that you and Kelly had to have a conversation about Like this is what this is the form our, our, our relationship is going to have to take during the summers, or was that something that evolved over time?
Speaker 2:yes, it is. It is something that we have had to have multiple conversations about. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I mean here's the truth, like whenever I'm like you're not just gonna naturally settle in.
Speaker 2:Oh, man, no, yeah, no, it's, it's been. It's multiple conversations and not all of them like, hey, could we have a conversation about? You know what I mean like it it's About conversations, yeah oftentimes they're born out of frustration, you know, and born out you know, and that kind of thing. And I've had this was a fight.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sure, you know, and but like, but over time, you know, like you know over time, just like trying to listen, well, and for both of us and Well, and I hope so, Kelly, I know this about Kelly, that she I've talked to her about this she that that it's very like she is very bought into the mission of CIOI and it is missional for her to um, kind of be in a like it's missional for her to be uncomfortable for a season, um, and to maybe not have the ideal for a season, yes, um, in order for you to be able to do what she feels like and sees and notices that god has called you to do um through your work with ciy. So I feel like that needs to be said too. That's just a huge foundational, like underlying piece of this as well.
Speaker 2:It is, and it is uncomfortable for seasonally because she's a quality time person, like that's her primary love language, that is hard to come by in the summers, and so that has been, you know, tremendous sacrifice for her that she feels. And here's the thing. I had this conversation with a friend, you know, at work, and I've had it with different youth pastors and stuff as well too. Is that one time I remember talking to um, one of our coworkers, and we were heading out on a trip together. We were leaving early in the morning to go catch a flight and and they I noticed they were kind of quiet, and so we got to talking and and they just said, yeah, wellish about it, because their impression was that that was unique to them, yeah, that their household was the only one that struggled with the travel or the schedule or something. And I was like, oh, dude, no, like, no, I think that's pretty much everybody and to varying degrees, sure.
Speaker 2:And the other thing I said is like, and also kind of a good thing, yeah, like I want my house to not feel whole whenever whenever whenever any of us are not there, whether it's one of my sons, cause they're at camp, or you know, or Kelly because she's doing something, or me, I want it to feel like abnormal and to feel uncomfortable, like that's a good thing, you know, um, and so we, and so there's, that's not it doesn't mean that it's a bad thing, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. But there also is sacrifice. I mean I, I don't travel as much in the summer as the as I could, because I also want to like, I also, like you know, I have to give some too, you know, and make sure that we do have that quality time and that we do have that. And so I, so I want to, we, we work out, we try to do our best to work out our family schedule for the summer together, so that she can also speak into my travel a little bit, and that kind of thing. So that's yeah, that's huge yeah. And we don't, by the way, we've been doing it for a long time. We don't have it totally figured out. Summer's not perfect all the time, like we don't get it. You know it's well, it's like you said, it's like it's good, it's never.
Speaker 3:I don't think it's ever going to be easy for kelly when you leave.
Speaker 3:You know I don't know if this is still true, but like five years ago or whatever, she made a comment to me that like I cry every time, yeah, and it's like that's sucks. You know that's terrible, um, and but yeah it. It doesn't mean that she doesn't think you should be doing what you're doing. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't be doing what you're doing. It just is something to be worked out, yeah, and that takes a lifetime I'm sure totally does.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally does. Maybe maybe just try like times but it get. But it's so important that, like we, it's so important that we enter into that together and again there's like little conversations throughout the week or wherever I am and just kind of like keeping her, you know, involved and everything she wants, she genuinely wants to be, and that helps a lot too. That helps her, that helps me, that helps. Yeah, I think so Super great.
Speaker 3:Okay, last piece of this puzzle, um, which is another one that's that's difficult for me, is just kind of maintaining an emotional, mental, uh balance during the summer, especially because, uh, I mean, traveling the way that we do, traveling the way that youth pastors do, is just kind of a pressure cooker, um, emotionally, it's not just like you're busy, um, and not getting enough sleep, even though you are busy and you are not getting enough sleep.
Speaker 3:There's also just a very like heavy component to what we do you know, every day that we're on the road, we're having conversations with youth pastors or with students who are, uh, in real time dealing with very real things, and uh, you know, every summer we end up on the phone with DCFS. Every summer we, you know like we have to deal with a lot of heavy stuff in a very concentrated period of time, uh, cause summer, and it kind of just brings that out. So I'd imagine that being grounded in the word, being grounded in the relationships that are important to you, plays into this. But I want to kind of take that one step farther and just talk about how the heck we are supposed to like, try to even begin to maintain emotional health when we're in these seasons, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so again, it's amazing how connected these things are. So finding ways to be like, physically healthy, so like I, you know, my, my, you know it's which is hard to do whenever you're in cafeterias, that you know. So, like almost every meal is beige, you know like a lot of yellow food yeah, like exclusively. So like I'm like a I I eat salads like two meals a day, you know, whenever I'm on the road. For that reason, salads is a generous term some bib lettuce with ranch dressing on it.
Speaker 3:It's like this was the option.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there's, it's a little green, um and so, but it's so. But. But you know, we know this hungry, angry, lonely, tired, you know halt, that's when we're most susceptible to um, to temptation, to, you know emotional bottoming out, to, you know any, any of those kinds of things whenever we're, and in the summer, for me I'm the most of all of those things right then you ever, then you are.
Speaker 2:At any other time I'm the most hungry, often the most angry, depending on what's going on, though, you know, the most lonely and the most tired, and so a lot of it is just stepping into it with that awareness and putting some things in place ahead of time. That's where rhythm comes in. Like rhythm. Rhythm is absolutely massive in terms of like and it is, it's mostly spiritual, and then it's also being um, it's also being honest with the right people. So, um, I loved, uh, man, it's it's high school students on stage.
Speaker 3:high school students on stage. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, there's something to that.
Speaker 3:Can I tell you something I've got?
Speaker 2:something that's just kind of like I'm so angry. There's something to that. Well, like we should be, you know, authentic and everything but well, there's a time and a place.
Speaker 2:There's a time and a place. I I, I so appreciated it was this morning for us from a at the time of recording, but release it'll be, you know, a couple weeks later. But Daniel Wheeler, um, led our uh staff diva this morning and we did kind of like a, a Visio and Lectio Divina Um. And you know one of the things that she talked about, as we like looked at this watercolor, you know, picture of Christ in the garden and praying and agony and everything is, was um. One thing she talked about is like our Messiah didn't have a Messiah complex and was and and allowed his agony in that moment and his despair in that moment and loneliness in that moment and all those things. He allowed it to not only be observed but recorded and and things like that. And so how, how, how open does that leave the door for us to be, to be open about those things as well?
Speaker 2:And so, with the, right To not have to present like we have it all together, absolutely Right, exactly, and that's such a more emotionally and spiritually healthy place to be than pretending, and I'm more and more convinced all the time that nobody, that nobody, is served well when we pretend that we have it all together Right. Nobody is. It sets a fake goal that other people then try to live up to. It sets a fake bar that other people try to live up to and it diminishes the work of Christ in our lives and it diminishes the hope that we have and um, and the grace that we are living by um and the mercy. That was new for us when we woke up that morning and so, and so God help us if we walk around diminishing those things as we try to go about the work that he has invited us into Jeez. So I so, I so that's so finding the kinds of people that you can also be open with about those things while you're on the road, even you know, and and that you can be talking about those things and in a way that is, you know, healthy and we don't got to get you know, got to you know, go into all the ins and outs of what is and what isn't healthy in those things, but, um, but having the having those kinds of people and being and being real about it, and then again, but, but doing the work in each of those areas and in trying to maintain physical health and not just like just letting it, you know, just letting it rip during the summer, cause it's like, well, what else I'm? Yeah, I'm going to eat. We need ice cream every night super late. I mean, yeah, when I was in at a certain time, but you know, not now.
Speaker 2:And so, you know, trying to find some time for exercise. Uh, you know physical exercise, bible before phone. You know maintaining. You know maintaining. You know you know communication with people in my life that are important, and you know that kind of thing. It's just huge, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think my big takeaway in all of these areas is um Chase Alcott is a is a board member here, your cousin Titus Weiss, about some of the customer training, like customer service training stuff, that they do at Chick-fil-A, and I don't know if you know this or not, but you know the survey that you get sometimes after you go there and you fill out the survey that you get sometimes after you go there and you fill out the survey and you get a free sandwich um, which is the dream?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, are you kidding me? I?
Speaker 3:pray for that survey. Uh, every time I eat there and, uh, he said something that was so fascinating to me and I just like it stuck with me and I I apply this to almost everything that I interact with mentally these days, which probably isn't great. But, um, so you fill out that survey one, two, three, four, five. You're rating things, five being the best, one being the at their restaurants is pass or fail. Okay, five is pass. Four, three, two, one are all fail, sheesh. So if you put five on that survey, then they did what they were supposed to do Heavens and that's great High standards for those chicken slingers man.
Speaker 3:I know For a fast food restaurant, but if you put a four it's like this was mostly good but not like the best that it could have been To them. That's the same as it being a one, ok, wow. And I think that is the mentality that I approach a lot of things in my life with.
Speaker 3:Sure, and maybe the mentality that I approach a lot of these things that we're talking about with, where it's like if my quiet time with Jesus is not a five, then it's a one, if my physical health is not a five, then it's a one, if my emotional health is not a five, then it's a one. And I think, just having you use the word awareness a lot today, just like having the awareness that, like I'm, I have to hit some fours and some threes, yeah, um, and that's okay for a season, uh, because it's it's gonna help me continue, like, keep rhythms that, um, allow me to stay grounded in my faith, in my relationships, um, and those things. So that was a really helpful thing to me, I think. Good, I don't know, as we, as we walk through this, Well, it's been helpful for me.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's what even you know. This is kind of an aside, and so I don't know if this makes the final edit or not, but it's. Somebody asked me um, last summer, the summer before, they were just like hey, how do you guard against? Because it was one of our event staff actually, and they were like man, I'm just really struggling with being like with cynicism right now and just like wondering if like this matters, you know, and they're like how do you guard against that? And just like watching these. You know what should be the highlight of watching these students respond and make these decisions and everything else. It make these decisions and everything else it was, it can.
Speaker 2:It's funny how that can become almost a low when cynicism starts to creep into your heart.
Speaker 2:Um, and I and I and I'm not naturally given to cynicism, but it is something that I that I try to be intentional about fighting against, and one of the things is that it goes back to awareness a little bit of just going like well, to know that there is some reality to that where, where life is going to be different for these people when they get home than it is here, and that's the nature of being on top of a mountain and then going down the mountain and life and life looks different and everything else. But also but, but, if, but, if you're aware of it, then you can, then you can pray in a different kinds of way for those people, and you can pray in a different kind of way for your own heart too, and you know, and you know, lord, guard me against this, and you can recognize it quicker and easier. And yeah, like when you're just, when you're just, it's alertness, it's awareness, it's vigilance you know vigilance, vigilance, Vigilance constant, vigilance Constant vigilance.
Speaker 3:Who says that? I don't know.
Speaker 2:There's a character in Harry Potter that says that oh, mad-eye Moody, I think it was Ross Unagi. There are two kinds of people, people who love friends and liars, yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, this has been a great conversation. Oh, my goodness, I'm exhausted from it.
Speaker 2:You're exhausting yeah, all right. Well, I took it the right way that is how I took it.
Speaker 3:No, it's just like challenging.
Speaker 2:It's good, you know what do you think it's challenging for me too?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, I think it's great. Tygo thinks it's great. Yeah, dude, is it a five or is it a one through a four? Listen, all I'm saying is, when Chick-fil-A sees me walking through those doors, they know they're getting a fail. Woof.
Speaker 3:Fours across the board baby. It's funny because I used to fill that survey out like thinking I was being helpful.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean?
Speaker 3:Yeah, like you don't just want to give straight fives because, like Hopefully in theory you are, huh, oh, being helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I guess that's true, but I don't want to be mean. Sure, I need them. I need people to like me. Michael, you know what I mean. I understand, okay, do I?
Speaker 2:do I need to be loved? I don't know. Do I need to be liked?
Speaker 3:Okay, well, on that note, season four of beyond the event is coming to an end.
Speaker 2:Man, what a what a time. I mean memories were made, memories were made, laughs were shared. Yeah, mean, memories were made Memories were made, laughs were shared.
Speaker 3:Yeah, brads were challenged, maybe others too.
Speaker 2:Herbs were grown. Herbs were grown, Harvested.
Speaker 1:Not yet.
Speaker 2:Harvested in the summer. Yeah, and remembered and remembered. Herbs were remembered, yeah.
Speaker 3:Backs were adjusted, herbs were remembered All right. So one last time, before we head into a crazy summer lane, you want to read our blessing for us?
Speaker 2:I sure do. May God show you his grace and bless you. May he make his face shine on you. May you experience the love of Christ, through whom God gives you fullness of life. May you be strengthened by his power. May Christ himself make his home in your heart, that you would be full of his love and grace, and that those you serve and see Jesus in you. Amen.
Speaker 3:Today's episode was produced by Michael Hester, Lauren Brian and myself. Huge thanks to Lane for being here and chatting with us about what's going to be, hopefully, a really awesome summer. No new episode in two weeks. We'll be back in August. In the meantime, you can reach out to us on the CIOI community Facebook group or by email at podcast at CIOIcom. Happy summer. See you next time you.